if u manage to find this blog it means u really still bother about my life.
this is the only platform i can write out my thoughts and feelings without having u know directly.
i wont say anything about this to u and pretend that everything's okay with my life when in fact it isnt.
every night i will think of u b4 i sleep and i just cant stop thinking that way.
i will look back and think of every single memory we had tgt, things just didnt go my way.
many times i wish i could have done things a diff way and maybe we would be a whole better right now.
deep down in my heart i still love u, i have tried my best to forget u but it just wont go away. i have tried all sorts of methods, but u keep popping up in my mind all day.
i can only pretend that im over u so u will at least talk to me. each time u say hurting words to me i just pretend it doesnt matter and put it all behind me but the fact is im very bothered by what ur doing everyday and every min.
but this makes u feel very controlled by me, i apologise but i just cant help worrying for u.
do u still rmb the 1st time u saw me.. u didnt notice i existed till week 2 of beijing trip.
but right from the start, during the briefing sessions, i have alrdy noticed this purple jacket 'ahlian' who stood out from everyone cos of ur height.
i wanted to know u but i didnt know how to start, so i just let it go.
i still rmb the moment we got off the bus and headed to the bitc dorms u had trouble carrying ur luggage up the stairs and i offered to help, but sadly u didnt even notice me yet.
from the time miss yarny gathered the christians out, i was really shocked to see u!
i look back and think its really fate that brought us to know each other, if ms yarny didnt gathered us, maybe we would not even have started talking to each other during that time.
since then i always tried to talk to u and made an effort to have u take notice of me.
but then came the panda man who claims he has a panda in his house..
and i still dunno why u and jas can still believe what he says even after u all find out the truth.
